Today is quite different from last year. I am single again. Instead of preparing myself to enjoy a dinner with the one I love, I am writing this blog and answering emails. It is amazing how the seasons of life change. You can go from 'Dangerously in Love" to 'Severely Single' or vice versa in a wink of an eye.
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I was pissed that I spent money on Bridal magazines, fabric samples, and anything pertaining to weddings. I was highly upset that I introduced this man to absolutely everyone important to me. More than anything I was ashamed that I would once again be single at all the family functions and have to dodge conversations about my Relationship status. I was on the brink of marital bliss, and instead I ended up drowning in tears full of disappointment, anger, and shame.
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He painted a beautiful picture of what it would be like ministering and sharing a life together. I bought everything he said, and six months later all that is left of us is broken promises, broken hearts, and a countless number of tears. I used to pride myself on not being the "Bitter Woman," but the more I denied the hurt the more bitter I became towards him and all men.
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We often look to others to cure us of what appears to be utter darkness inside, but when explored the feelings of loneliness become a guide back inside. Loneliness is simply our inner being/spirit demanding we be to ourselves, to hear ourselves, and learn something new about ourselves.
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